Tickets and Trouble.

“You got a ticket,” He said, both taunting and laughing. She; being always Miss Perfect, Miss Always Right, Miss Whatever Buddy, stood and took the abuse, her arms folded as He pointed and laughed.

“YOUUUUUU got a ticket!” He shrieked, clenching his fists, as though lightning would strike behind him, a viking helmet appearing on his head, and somewhere, a wabbit dead.

“Are you done yet?” She replied, fawning over her left index fingernail which was badly in need of a coat of polish or two. She chipped at the microcrack, not letting her Husband get to Her by letting Him get to Her.


“Good,” she signed, tired of it already.

“For now.”

“Come again?” He looked hurt as his face shriveled, and his knees slightly buckled. “Oh, right.”

“That hurt.”

“I’m sorry,” She said. “I didn’t mean it,” She lied.

“Ugh, you vile She-beast. Even when I get something over on you, this is how you treat me?” He seemed upset. He wasn’t. “You keep this up for another four or five hundred years, and it’s over.”

She walked to Him and kissed Him on the lips.

“Stop that,” He asked, not wanting her to stop.

She kissed Him again, deeper this time.

“Stop it. You’ll ruin my lipstick.”

She hugged Him tightly.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Do you want to be seduced?”

“Do you want me to answer that honestly?”

“Is that a stick in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

“It’s a stick. I was hoping you’d grab it, and throw it to me in the backyard awhile.”

“You’re not very good at this game, are you?” She said, nuzzling into his neck.

He picked Her up and carried her to the bedroom.

“Don’t think this gets you a pass for the ticket.”


2 thoughts on “Tickets and Trouble.”

    1. It’s related to the previous story, about an irreverent couple that celebrate their tremendous love by making fun of each other, belittling each other, and making sure that each other know that they’re so head over heels in love that they’re like kindergarteners.

      It’s very much like my relationship, turned up to 1000.

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