Roll 2d10+2 — 2/14

Today’s writing comes in the form of one of my other hobbies, roleplaying games. I’d been spending time writing a somewhat ridiculous gaming campaign about a couple of show-offy, low level adventurers that have one too many and challenge a bunch of old dudes to a drinking contest. Except, turns out the old dudes are a bunch of wizened wizards who don’t take kindly to being drank under the table, so the adventurers get banished to the bottom floor of the dungeon.

This is the first adventure. If you’ve never read an adventure before, the titles are the individual rooms, or the sequential activities. My adventures are as much ad-lib and feel off my players more so than completely scripted and regimented experiences.

You awaken with a bad headache, dry mouth an achy body and your penis is missing again. This kind of thing seems to happen to you all the time. You challenge a group of upper level looking mages to a drinking contest, and the next thing you know, you can’t for the life of you find it. Sometimes, you find it in the potion cabinet, but it’s probably not there considering you realize quickly that you’re far away from home. The sound of rock scraping rock echoes in the distance, seemingly closer through your alcohol induced hangover. The room is dome shaped with a large spine and trusses heading down a stone hallway. There are teeth shaped indentations in the wall, halfway across the room, a glittering bit of something metallic on the other side.


“What you stand inside of is a living creature, one of the makers of this world, a Stone Serpent who helped create the catacombs and the mountains and valleys thousands of years ago. They currently lie in a state of stasis, while still moving, they move slower than we can percieve as men of Myeth.

“You roving band of drunken children, who dared goad the Circle of Rage Mages must now find your way out of this dungeon to freedom. If you do so, you may keep what you find as you’ve earned it. I cannot tell you how many levels there are ahead of you, as there are thousands of options and thousands of ways for you to meet your untimely demise. While I’m rooting for you to meet your untimely demise, a small part of me is also hoping you get out. And while I certainly could assist you in that goal, I will not.

“I will, however, provide clues to you on how to escape. For instance, there are six gems hidden throughout this animal’s body and lair. Find the correct combination within the heart of the beast of four gems and escape. I could give you a clue, but, it’s simple to solve — if you find the gems.

“Good luck to you. Figure a way to escape the serpent’s belly. As soon as you pass my seal located at the mouth of this beast, your adventure begins. ”

Smooth polished marble walkway, leads to a careful walk that veers slightly right and then back around and down to the left. You could slide down this hallway with a running start if you so choose.

You slide down and to the right, and then around to the left in a complete circle, moving faster and faster as you go. As you roll down, you notice a door to your left that comes up too fast to try and meet.

As you make your way down, the sound of scraping comes closer to you, an earth elemental that looks like a pile of rocks ambles toward you. It stops, moves a tad to the left and moves again.

The elemental guides you to a doorway. Do you get off?

This room has a gradual movement inward through the door, as though it were a kidney for the large serpent you’re trapped inside of. The room is somewhat crudely kidney shaped, 100 feet by 100 feet with a fifty foot notch taken out.

The first chamber of the heart. The room smells musty, and the floors and the walls look rubbery with a pile of bones that look humanoid-like strewn about the room.

The second heart chamber of the heart. The room smells like wet wood, dog and boiling blood. More bones litter the ventricle. There may have been a room to the south, but there is a blocked ventricle and a number beside it — 550.


One thought on “Roll 2d10+2 — 2/14”

  1. If I haven’t already recommended to you Robert Coover’s The Universal Baseball Association, Inc., J. Henry Waugh, Prop., let me do that now. Not that this is related to Coover’s book, but something about the set-up here reminded me of it. I think you’ll like it.

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